PURITY OF HEART (Matthew 5:28)

Why?
1. Walk with God
  1. The pure in heart will see God (Matthew 5:8, Psalm 24)
  2. The pure can ascend God's holy hill (Psalm 24)
  3. Jesus said "be holy, as my father is holy" (1 Peter 1:16)
2. Marriage
  1. You cannot hide your sins from her forever
  2. Pornography causes marital conflict
    1. Jealousy
    2. Feelings of inadequacy
    3. Resentment
    4. Makes it difficult to respect you
  3. Pornography exacerbates marital conflict
    1. Sexual urges are meant to motivate a man to repair his marriage, in order to resume healthy sex
      1. Strong negative emotions like anger and fear increase sexual drive in men
      2. The same feelings reduce it in women: most wives feel violated/used if asked to have sex (body) when the relationship (soul) is disconnected
      3. Thus, a man must become resourceful in repairing his marriage, in order to resume healthy sexual fulfillment
      4. This may seem strange and counterintuitive.
      5. However, how creative were we when we were trying to first woo our wives?
      6. Sexual tension is the strongest, and most immediate way of motivating a man.
      7. It caused us to bend to some of the most extreme and unnatural situations in our daily lives.
      8. God also intends to motivate us in marriage to do whatever it takes to keep our marriage sexuality healthy.
      9. I am convinced that preserving this sexual motivation is among the most important aspects of a healthy marriage.
      10. If a man is content to remain distant, it is probably because he has found release elsewhere
      11. If a spouse deprives the other, they are leaving room for Satan/temptation (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
      12. When pornography is in the picture, A man can gratify his sexual urges without repairing his marriage.
  4. Pornography is a common reasons for divorce
    1. Divorce will...
      1. Crush you financially
      2. As a couple, you will both be crippled by trying to pay two mortgages, two car payments, separate groceries, etc.
      3. You will have to make child-payments for kids you may not even get to see
      4. Married status is good for the resume, often increasing wages by as much or more as a college degree.
      5. Crush you socially, especially in Christian circles
      6. Effectively end your ministry career
      7. Traumatize your children
3. Children
  1. Spiritual protection
    1. We are daily engaged in a spiritual war against Satan & demons (Ephesians 6:12)
    2. Their purpose is to 1) Steal, 2) Kill, 3) Destroy (John 10:10)
    3. As a husband/father, God has appointed you as "head" of your home (Ephesians 5)
    4. Whatever has overcome you has enslaved you (2 Peter 2:19)
    5. If Satan/sin has defeated you, the "strong man" of the house, he may do as he wishes with the rest of your family (Matthew 12:29)
    6. If you are strong in the Lord, your strength is a shelter for those under your protection. (Isaiah 32:1-2)
  2. Power in prayer
    1. God desires men to pray, lifting holy hands (1 Timothy 2:8)
    2. The prayers of the righteous man accomplish much (James 5:16)
    3. God does not listen to the soul with unconfessed sins (Psalms 66:18)
    4. God does not listen to the man who deals unfaithfully with the wife of his youth (Malachi 2:14-16)
  3. Generational sin
    1. The tendency towards specific sins
    2. The consequences of your sins
    3. You may sin against them
      1. If you do not control your lust, it can evolve into paedophilia
      2. You may expose them to pornography at a young age, warping their understanding of sexuality
      3. Sons
      4. Just as Solomon took Davids sin and pushed it to a higher degree, so to your sin will be amplified in the life of your son.
      5. Your teenage son's first exposure to sexuality will probably be discovering your secret stash of pornography.
      6. Daughters
      7. Your teenage daughter will someday remind you of the models you are now fantasizing over
      8. You will be tempted by unthinkable and criminal sins
      9. More likely, you will push her away physically & emotionally to keep yourself under control
      10. This will hurt and confuse her
      11. It will leave an aching void for a caring/touching man like her daddy used to be
      12. She may learn or suspect your secret, privately despising you for it
      13. Your lack of self-control will propel your daughter towards quick love and easy sex, laying the foundation for a disastrous life
      14. You will not be able to entirely hide this conflict from your wife
      15. Your sex-life will stagnate
      16. She may leave you, crushing you financially, socially, and effectively ending your ministr career
      17. She will look at you like you are a monster. She will never understand, even if she says she does.
      18. If she sees you as dangerous, she will likely protect her kids from you
      19. She may learn to forgive, but she will never respect you.
4. Ministry
  1. You may be (permanently?) disqualified from ministry (1 Corinthians 9:27)
5. Reputation
  1. Bill Clinton
  2. Jim Bakker
  3. Jimmy Swaggart
  4. Ted Haggart
6. Legacy
  1. Will be marked by your sexual successes & failures, amplified through your family & ministry
Truths
1. It is not a sin to be tempted (Hebrews 4:15)
2. Our temptations are common to humankind. You are not alone (1 Corinthians 10:13)
3. Every temptation can be overcome, through the power of Jesus (1 Corinthians 10:13)
4. The battle gets easier with every victory (Proverbs 4:18)
5. "Health" is like being in shape: one never arrives
6. We are not to seek temptation, but to pray against it (Matthew 6:13, Luke 11:4)
7. Temptations are not from God (James 1:13)
  1. FLESH We are tempted by created desires, combined with fallen nature (James 1:14)
  2. SATAN & demons tempt us (Genesis 3)
  3. THE WORLD: human society, ruled by Satan, opposd to God (Luke 4:6-8)
How?
1. Scripture Memory (Psa. 119:9-11)
  1. Memory Passages
    1. Romans 6 & 8
    2. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
    3. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
    4. Psalm 51
  2. Memory Verses
    1. 2 Timothy 2:22
    2. Ephesians 5:3
    3. 1 Corinthians 10:13
    4. Job 31:1
  3. Passages for reflection
    1. Proverbs 5 & 7
    2. 2 Samuel 11, 13-19
    3. 1 Corinthians 7
    4. Galatians 5:16-26
    5. Song of Solomon
2. Remaining connected to God in Jesus (John 15:1-7)
3. Bodily discipline
  1. Fasting/dieting (1 Corinthians 9:25)
  2. Exercise (1 Corinthians 9:27)
  3. Suffering ends temptation (1 Peter 4:1)
    1. Discipline your body to the point of pain (1 Corinthians 9:25-27)
    2. Resist sin "to the point of blood" (Hebrews 12:4)
    3. Consider persecutions joy (James 1:2)
4. Abstaining from certain otherwise good things (Matthew 18:8-9)
  1. TV/Media
  2. Internet
  3. Friendships
  4. Locations
  5. Beaches
5. Limiting of certain otherwise good things
  1. ...certain channels/sites?
  2. ...never alone?
  3. ...never after certain hours?
  4. ...never in certain company?
  5. ...never without certain company?
6. Become satisfied in your wife (Proverbs 5:18)
7. Accountability
  1. It is not good for a man to be alone (Genesis 2:18, Hebrews 10:25)
  2. Man-to-man (2 Timothy 2:2) & woman-to-woman (Titus 2:3-5)
  3. Confession brings healing (James 5:16)
Vulnerabilities
1. ANGER (especially long-term, unresolved anger) makes us vulnerable (Ephesians 4:26-27)
2. SHAME increases our vulnerability Colossians 3:1
3. PRIDE makes us vulnerable to attack (1 Corinthians 10:12)
4. INACTIVITY (forced or chosen) at portentous times increases vulnerability (2 Samuel 11)
5. DOUBTS open us up to attack, since faith is our shield (Ephesians 6:16)
6. The Lion attacks the sick, tired, depressed, alone, weak, wounded and/or disoriented (1 Peter 5:8)
7. (Singles) Awakening love before the time intensifies temptation (Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4)
8. (Engaged) Delaying marriage can intensify temptations (1 Corinthians 7:9)
9. (Married) Abstaining without mutual consent or for long periods gives opportunity (1 Corinthians 7:5)
Questions
1. Pornography
  1. What is it?
    1. Anything you look at for the purpose of lusting after
      1. What is lust?
      2. It is commiting adultery in ones heart (Matthew 5:28)
      3. It is entertaining thoughts & feelings which would be inappropriate & impure to have for a sister (1 Timothy 5:2)
      4. It is viewing the body of the other for the purpose of sexual gratification (Habikuk 2:15)
      5. Biologically speaking, lust is: stimulating the brain to release certain opioids by viewing or imagining sexually evocative subjects
      6. It applies especially to materials created for that purpose
      7. It applies also to any picture (even a fully dressed) which are looked at for the purpose of sexual fantasies, lust and/or masturbation
      8. "But what about...?"
      9. Yes, thats pornography (for you!) too
  2. Is it always wrong?
    1. 1) Jesus forbids us to regard a woman with lust
    2. 2) Pornography is designed, or used, to gratify lust
    3. 3) Therefore, yes, pornography is a sin
    4. Objections
      1. I'm not lusting, I'm just enjoying beauty
      2. What part of her beauty are you enjoying? If you painted a picture of your mental picture, would it be G rated?
      3. Unless she is your wife, aspects of her physical beauty are not yours to enjoy
      4. Even focusing on the beauty of a face can become sin if it is in the context of fantasizing over an illicit relationship
      5. Receiving visial gratification from anothers body is the definition of lust
      6. I don't masterbate: I'm just looking
      7. Biologically speakinf, lust sets off a concoction of chemical fireworks in the brain, even aside from physical stimulation
      8. It provides gratification/pleasure in a way not approved by God
      9. It creates an inappropriate connection to the person you are lusting after
      10. Looking with lust is forbidden more strongly than masterbation (Matthew 5:28)
      11. But its art!
      12. Before cameras, how do you think sinful humans created porn?
      13. Photography is art too: does that make photographic porn "ok"?
      14. But it's religious art!
      15. Take some time to study the condition of the church at the time that art was created
      16. Google "renaissance pope"
      17. Google (without pictures) cocubinage and priests in the middle ages
      18. If the same picture was rendered by camera/modern technology, how would you feel about having it in YOUR church?
2. Why is temptation SO strong?
  1. Sexual temptation is meant to push men to action
    1. To become self-sufficient, seek a spouse, and start a family (Genesis 2:24)
      1. Sexual attraction ensures the survival of the species (Genesis 1:22)
      2. It is strongest in our youth because this is the ideal time to start a family
    2. To repair the problems in a marriage, so that healthy sex may resume
      1. See notes on "pornography exacerbates marriage conflict"
    3. When pornography/lust is present, Gods design is thwarted and men are content to remain single, or remain distant from their wives
    4. Because of Satan, the Flesh & the World, the power of temptations grow
    5. When we sin, or are sinned against, temptations become stronger
      1. We are slaves to what has overcome us
3. What about disturbing temptations?
  1. Natural, but sinful (eg heterosexual temptations to adultery, "dirty" thoughts about very good and pur friends)
    1. Remember, it is not a sin to be tempted (Hebrews 4:15)
    2. Remember, you are not defined by your temptations or past failures but by the person & work of Jesus
  2. Unnatural temptations (paedophelia, incest, bestiality, ETC)
    1. Remember, 1) your temptations to sin does not mean that sin is "natural," 2) even if a sin is found in nature it may be sinfil
      1. You are not the expert on human sexuality: God is.
      2. Use His Word as a compass to guide you through the storm